Perfectionist tendencies, anyone? I have always liked to have everything “just so”—organized and as perfect as possible. I appreciate the pretty things in life, the beauty in words and creation and song—I’m really not a fan of mess and blood and haphazard! I remember giving birth to my sweet daughter and asking the nurses to “please clean her up and pop a bow in her hair” — it might have been the gas and air talking, but you get the gist. So imagine my anguish when one day our lives catapulted into a cacophony of mess and blood and haphazard…
My husband, daughter and I emigrated from the UK to Canada, fulfilling a wild dream to experience life in another country. It was everything we imagined and more—God opened doors for the paperwork, a job, a home, and a church… my life truly was tied together with a beautiful bow! That same year our little world was rocked considerably when I suffered a miscarriage, but we soon discovered we were pregnant again. Joy was restored.
I had never heard of “placenta previa accreta” but it became evident that I had it, and at 32 weeks I was rushed into my local hospital bleeding. It was Thanksgiving weekend, and my perfect plans were crushed as I was loaded into a tiny “air ambulance” plane and told not to move. I gave my distraught husband a crash-course lesson on how to braid our daughter’s hair in my absence (yeah, it seemed important at the time), waved a tearful, fearful goodbye, and headed into the worst storm Vancouver had experienced in over thirty years. I kid you not.
As my bow unraveled and it was questionable to me whether we would even land the little plane in one piece, let alone get to the special hospital in time or have a hope of saving both the baby and I—a peace filled my soul that I can’t begin to describe. The situation was surreal, I was actually ready to meet my Maker at this point, and I knew many around the globe were lifting me up in prayer at that very moment.
I knew all about the perfect peace—I’d been a Christian since the age of eleven, and I’d certainly experienced His peace in my life, time and again. But this—this was peace on a whole other level. I was able to let everything go and I knew without a shadow of doubt that I was in the hands of my Heavenly Father. My chaos became calm, my soul was soothed, my mess didn’t matter.
After circling for 30 extra minutes, we landed safely and that hospital bed became my home-away-from-home for the next six weeks. It was certainly no picnic—I was in a strange city without my family and friends in a relatively new country, and there were no guarantees for a safe delivery even if I held out full term. I, with my distain for anything remotely related to blood, had to give blood weekly to my own store, as I would most likely need a transfusion. I missed my husband and four-year-old little princess with a passion, and my orderly, organized, tied-with-a-bow life was nothing I recognized anymore.
But that precious peace I experienced on the plane wasn’t merely for the oh-so-fun ride in the storm. It remained with me, just as Jesus promised. A sense of God’s wholeness even amidst my brokenness. It was heightened during those challenging weeks in hospital for sure, it was as if I were literally floating on a cloud—protected and loved and cherished. And yes, it absolutely settled me down. The bow of peace that He wrapped around me was profound in its perfection.
Eventually, our baby boy was born. The surgery went better than any of us could have imagined, and after four days in an incubator our little miracle gift was smothered with love and kisses. I will never forget that whole experience of God’s peace and providence. It showed me the fragility of life and how I need to trust God implicitly in every single area. Every single day.
Now, twenty-one years later, our “baby” is back in the city of his birth studying at University. And now, twenty-one years later, I can attest to that peace, that sense of God’s wholeness threaded through my life like a ribbon. He continues to lead and to fill and to love.
And rather than me desperately trying to loop the ribbon and make everything appear nice and orderly and pretty—God ties all the bows. Not always in ways I would have predicted or preferred, but with His perfect peace. And resting in the reality of His sovereignty is WAY better than running around with my ribbon…
Here’s to lessons learned, prayers answered, and a Happy 21st birthday next month for our miracle boy!
(This post first appeared in The She Is Project)
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I am so thankful for the peace of God; the peace that passes all human understanding.
Me too, Tara. There’s absolutely nothing quite like it! Thanks so much for stopping by—blessings to you 🙂
What a powerful story! I, too have been in such a distressful medical situation that my life hung in the balance. My perfectionist ways were just not important anymore. I learned to have grace with myself, be accepting of my shortcomings and start seeing myself as God had always seen me. There is just something about those one on one God moments that make everything else lose their value with us. I’m sure you would agree with me when I say as much as I disliked my situation at the time, looking back, I wouldn’t trade it for the world!
Hi there Summer, thanks so much for sharing. Yes, I totally agree— this was a huge learning experience for my husband and I, and even though it was scary at the time (especially for him!) we grew in our faith and our marriage. God is faithful always. Thanks for stopping by— blessings to you 🙂
What a great story of God’s perfect peace. About 26 years ago I was in my mother’s tummy in an air ambulance cause I’d stopped growing around 26 weeks and it wasn’t picked up until 34 weeks. Heaps of people were praying and amazingly I grew quite a few weeks in between each ultrasound. I was born two days later weighing 1 kg and ended up being the smallest baby to ever leave the hospital. I’ve had no complications.
Wow Lizzy, that’s miraculous! Thanks so much for sharing your special story— clearly, God had big plans for your life 🙂 The power of prayer is phenomenal, isn’t it? Blessings to you!
Great story! You are right…life often presents us with circumstance wrapped in baling twine instead of a bow.
Thanks so much, Denise. Ha, I love the baling twine analogy 🙂 Hope this post was an encouragement to you— thanks for stopping by!
Great post! I love the imagery here. God’s bows are so much better than ours even if it’s hard to untie ours at the time. SO glad I found you at the Salt and Light linkup.
Oh thanks ever so much! Yes, God’s bows are infinitely better than mine could ever hope to be! He sees the whole picture and always knows what’s best. I have to trust Him in that! Appreciate you stopping by here… blessings to you! 🙂
Laura, thank you for sharing you story! It’s truly inspirational and I love the picture of peace that you share.
Thanks ever so much, Leslie! It’s my pleasure to share… it was a tough experience but one I can look back on with much appreciation of God’s grace and goodness. Thanks for your encouragement 🙂 Blessings to you!
What a beautiful story of God’s peace in the middle of a storm. Praise God for your rainbow baby! Misty
Thanks so much, Misty! Aww yes he really was my rainbow baby— I love that! So grateful for God’s peace to carry us through whatever storms come our way 🙂 Blessings to you!
Hey Laura! Thanks for sharing your pain and your joy. I think I was living in Vancouver when that crazy storm happened. I didn’t know your battle then…….it’s a small world.
No way, Kim! That’s bizarre. I’m sure that if you knew me back then, you would have visited me daily with chocolate!! 😉 I’m just glad to know you now. See you later x
an amazing story of God’s relentless peace – we can only experience it the deeper the chaos – thanks for sharing!
Hi there Sue— yes, I’m so grateful for His relentless peace (I love that!) My pleasure to share, thanks for stopping by! Blessings 🙂
I love how you told this story! Life really isn’t tied in a pretty bow, but Jesus comes and gives His peace and we know He will always be with us. I have had experience with miscarriages and I understand. But like you, God has given me a peace that only comes from Him, I certainly couldn’t manufacture it. Thanks for sharing your story. What a blessing!
Blessings to you! I’m your neighbor at #MomentsofHope.
Thanks so much for your lovely encouragement, Gayl! I’m so glad you’ve experienced His peace in your life, even in the sorrow of loss. He is always faithful, isn’t he? Blessings to you 🙂
Laura, your story is both heartwrenching and beautiful. These are the times we cling to the truth of God’s unfailing precense and unwavering care. “that sense of God’s wholeness threaded through my life like a ribbon” is a divine picture of the very nature of God!
Thanks so much, Crystal! God is so good, and it’s lovely to look back sometimes and count our blessings. It was quite the harrowing experience, but it was also a very special time for me and God 🙂 Blessings, friend!
I absolutely love this! What a great testimony to God’s faithfulness and peace amidst any storm!
My family is undergoing a “stormy season” as I speak. These words were just what I needed.
Thanks for sharing <3
-Rachel (your link up pal @faith and friends) 😉
Thanks so much for your encouragement, Rachel! I’m sorry to hear your family are in storm mode right now, but be sure that nothing takes God by surprise! He has you in the palm of His hand, and there’s no better place to be 🙂 Blessings to you and yours!
Happy 21st birthday to your son! What a scary time you went through. I love your conclusion, Laura: “God ties all the bows. Not always in ways I would have predicted or preferred, but with His perfect peace.” I’ve had him tie up a few of my bows in ways I didn’t prefer, but in the end, his bows are always prettier than mine. 🙂
Haha! Yes, Lisa, I think I can safely say that God’s bows are a whole lot prettier than mine, too! He always has our best in mind 🙂 And thanks — I can’t believe my middle one is turning 21!! Where do the year go? Blessings to you!
What a beautiful story of peace and I love the happy ending. So glad God carried you and your precious cargo safely into the world.
Thank you so much— I’m glad it had the happy ending, too! I appreciate you taking the time to stop by 🙂 Blessings!
Isn’t is so amazing when His peace and comfort covers us and protects us regardless of our circumstances. I love how you told of the bow of peace. I realize beautifully tied bows can easily unravel but it is with God’s grace and protection that we are wrapped in His love! Thank you for sharing!
Hi there Robin! Thanks so much— it was my joy to share my story. I agree, being wrapped in God’s love is like nothing else, and we get to experience it every single day! I appreciate you taking the time to comment 🙂 Blessings to you!