Remember when you were a little girl and you dreamed of your very own Prince Charming? Maybe your Barbie got all beautified and met Ken on a blind date under the dining room table, or perhaps you pinned posters of your heart-throb on the bedroom wall and dreamed of being his girlfriend. Your Prince Charming was handsome and funny and rich and attentive. He was perfect. And then you got married for real…
You found your Prince Charming, fell in love, and are now gripping the edge of your seat on the crazy matrimonial rollercoaster. We go into marriage with high hopes and dewy-eyed dreams—but as reality hits, has the prince’s crown slipped a little since we said, “I do”? What if he’s actually not that charming after all?
Here’s the thing: he is not God. No matter how long you have been married, I know you realize this by now (!) but honestly—we sometimes forget that one simple truth. My husband is not God, he never claimed to be, and who am I to expect him to be perfect, when only One is perfect? Stay with me here…
I’ve been married for (drum roll, please…) THIRTY years and my husband is perfect for me.
Not my version of perfect, and not perfection itself (mercy!) but he’s my very own Prince Charming. Before you think me mushy and delusional, let me explain that I have seen plenty of non-princely things in my man. Likewise, he’s seen a whole lot of horrific un-princess-like qualities from yours truly, because neither one of us has it all together. Much grace has been required. Much, much grace.
In the early days, I would get totally frustrated that he wasn’t my “everything”. Talk about great expectations. Wasn’t he supposed to complete me, or something? Why couldn’t he anticipate my moods and read my mind, for goodness’ sake? The poor guy! Oh, how I wish I could go back and poke young newlywed Laura with her sparkly tiara and tell her, “Your identity is not in your shiny new husband— IT IS IN CHRIST!” It would have saved much exasperation and confusion for us both.
In a marriage, there’s a whole lot of choosing going on—you choose him, he chooses you, you both choose a home, a sofa, a dog—and on it goes. But before all the marital magic, as Christians, we were chosen by the Almighty to be HIS. Our identity is in Christ. We look to Him to love us unconditionally, to redeem us, to forgive us, to never leave us, to be our perfection. This isn’t the job of our husband. He’s a flawed human, just like us. He’s not perfect and neither are we, but God has brought us together that we would be “perfect” for each other, and serve Him in unity:
“We have become his poetry, a re-created people that will fulfill the destiny he has given each of us, for we are joined to Jesus, the Anointed One. Even before we were born, God planned in advance our destiny and the good works we would do to fulfill it!” Ephesians 2:10 (TPT)
I also need to remind myself to look in the mirror more often to see that I have a WHOLE lot of imperfection going on—and I’m not talking wrinkles and blemishes here. Marriage is a partnership and sometimes I carry him and often he carries me. Ebbs and flows. Mistakes and apologies. But we are “joined to Jesus” and that, friend, is everything. So when we feel our prince’s crown is slipping or that our tiara is tarnished, here are 3 G’s to bear in mind:
- GRACE: Give it generously, receive it humbly. Every single day.
- GRIT: Let passion and perseverance and prayer carry you through the tough and trying times in order to strengthen your marriage.
- GRATITUDE: Thanksgiving is a game-changer. Kick comparison to the curb and thank God for the gift of the man He has placed in your life.
The happily ever after can be a beautiful, messy reality. Especially when Christ, the Perfect One, is in the midst of it all.
Our husband can be our very own quirky and wonderful Prince Charming… but remember always—Jesus is our King of Kings.
P.S. Did you know I have a marriage book published? Check out PEARLS FOR THE BRIDE!
Linking up with some fabulous encouragers: