Mind if we get real here for a minute or two? I’m just wondering— is comparison threatening to squish us as cheerleaders? We all know that “comparison is the thief of joy”, and that’s a quote by Theodore Roosevelt, who wasn’t even into Instagram or Pinterest. But I worry that instead of celebrating the success and blessings of others, we are in danger of losing all the joy in the name of Comparison, or his BFF, Jealousy…
I love receiving good news, whether it’s directly affecting me or someone in my family or friend group. Even those I kind of know via the interwebs… it’s great to hear when someone is reaching their goal, finding their heart’s desire, passing that exam, or living their dream. A baby or a book deal, a husband or a house, a ministery or a master’s degree, my initial reaction is, “Awww!” 🙂 Until sometimes, I raise one eyebrow.
Okay, maybe not with the baby (been there, done that— a LONG time ago!) and definitely not with the husband (because I’m incredibly partial to the one I have), but sometimes the comparison creature raises its ugly head and asks, “Fine, but how come they get that now? I’ve been trying for years.” Or, “Good for her. But she’s totally going to be out of her depth.” Or, “Yay. But it won’t bring her happiness. It would probably have brought me happiness though.”
And then if we’re really getting gnarly, it transforms into, “Why isn’t it my turn? I deserve it just as much as her. Actually probably more. Definitely more. I may not ever speak to her again.” Hello, green-eyed monster. Are we really that threatened by the success of others? Aren’t we supposed to actually: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”?
We can’t blame social media for all the things, but it certainly doesn’t do us any favours when it comes to comparison issues. We see everyone’s highlight reel, all the best moments on the best hair days. We see their number of followers and likes and we can’t help but see how we measure up. It’s desperately unhealthy. Truth is, there’s only ONE we all need to be looking to:
Jesus.
His poetry. I love that. He has a plan for each us, friends, and we (I) must NOT attempt to limit God. I tend to put Him in a Laura-styled box and expect everything to pan out how I believe would be best for me and the entire world. Surprisingly, it very rarely happens and I end up impatient and comparing myself to others and missing out on a whole lot of celebrating and joy! Sheesh.
We know that we are all uniquely created, each of us with our set of gifts and talents and the ability to make a difference in this world of ours. We also have very different paths and timeframes and capacities. But there is room for us all— room for all our babies and books and husbands and houses and ministeries and master’s degrees. So let’s go out of our way to be cheerleaders for our sisters who are killing it out there and succeeding in crazy ways!
“All tides rise when we see a sister making this world a better place with her gifts.” Lysa TerKeurst, Uninvited
Our journey, the adventure God has called us to as individuals— we can share that with each other. By the written word in a blog or book, verbally one-on-one over a cup of coffee, from a platform in front of a gathering, a letter sent, a phone call, a gift, a meal, a hand to hold. We can lift each other up and be the very best cheerleaders. Because honestly, sometimes there’s a whole lot of waiting involved and for some, we may not even get to see much in the way of “fruit” this side of heaven. Having an “eternal perspective” helps us remember nothing is wasted:
Join me in celebrating each other? I’m raising my hot pink cheerleading pom-poms for YOU, friends!
P.S. Fancy digging into Proverbs 31 with my FREE e-book devotional? Sign up HERE for DIAMOND DEVOS 31… live out your purpose and passion with wisdom and strength!
Linking up with some fabulous encouragers! Check them out:
So Good!!! Cheering you (and all of us!) on! Great word!
Aww thanks so much, Karrilee! Glad you were encouraged 🙂 Blessings and joy and much cheering to you!
I had the conversation about comparison with one of my daughters this morning when she seemed to be comparing her brother’s accomplishments with her own struggles. I know I’ve been guilty of comparing myself and what I have to others too many times to count. Thanks for reminding me to cheer others on instead of beating myself up for not being them.
Thanks for stopping by, Jenn. I was just having a similar conversation with someone 30 years younger than me, too. It seems the comparison struggle is real for us at all ages… I’m grateful I don’t have to do any of this in my own strength— when I’m focussed on Jesus, my natural tendency is to rejoice with others and not be such a naval-gazer! I’m such a work in progress 😉 Blessings to you!
We are his poetry — love that line. Never thought of it that way. There is enough room for us all to shine as gems, and cheerleading is so more fun than a pity party.
Oh Theresa, I absolutely agree! When we are down on ourselves, it’s no fun for anyone. Especially us 😉 So yes to all the shining and all the cheering! Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by here— blessings to you!
Hi Laura,
I’ve been staring down the monster of comparison lately and praying for freedom because it’s taking my eyes off of an incredible answer to prayer that I should be celebrating — and I am — it’s just that comparison is lurking behind the scenes. I keep focusing my eyes on the truth of God’s words and praying that they infiltrate my soul — and they are — slowly but surely! Great post and I always like visiting here, Laura! 🙂
Hi Valerie— thanks so much for your sweet words of encouragement. And also your honesty— comparison really seems to lurk within us all, doesn’t it? Sometimes subtly and sometimes like a neon flashing light. Praying for you right now, friend! Thanks for stopping by— blessings to you 🙂
Hi Laura,
Thanks for being brave, (and gnarly), enough to bring up this subject. It’s amazing with all the good things in life so many of us are blessed with, there is often a struggle for more, and more. Thanks for the reminder, and for holding up the mirror for self examination. I enjoy your insights. Keep on keeping on!
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Aww thanks so much, Sam! It’s my pleasure to share, even when I have to get gnarly 😉 The struggle is real and comparison is something probably all of us wrestle with at some level. It always comes back to fixing our eyes on Jesus… I am such a slow learner! Thanks for your encouragement!
It’s so true, we need to stop the comparisons. we each have something to offer, and there are enough people out there to share it with.
Absolutely! Imagine how humdrum life would be if we all had the same gifts and skills and personalities… The world is a big place and there’s definitely room for everyone’s brand of beautiful! Thanks for stopping by, friend— blessings to you 🙂
its so scary that our little ones are already into this!!Its hard for them to see things from such a wise perspective but alas I do keep telling them that its not important!!BUT yes lets cheer one another on I like that too, theres enough criticism in this world and I too think Jesus wants us to be cheering one another on too. Go Laura Go!!waving my pom poms here too!!!!!xxx
Haha, thanks, Heidi— I always appreciate your cheering! It’s sad but true that the comparison starts at such an early age… you’re doing a great job there, sis, keep pointing them to Jesus 🙂 Go-o-o-o- Heidi!! (Just did a little dance there.) xxx
Ah, the comparison monster…it comes after all of us, at one time or another. To recognize it, and call it what it is, is a step in the right direction. Having an eternal view helps us to keep things in proper perspective for sure!
Good word, Laura! Cheering you on! 🙂
Hi there, Rachel, thanks so much for stopping by and for your sweet encouragement. That eternal perspective makes such a difference with pretty much everything, doesn’t it? Now if only I would actually keep it top of mind… Cheering you on, too! 😉
I agree! Comparison is a confidence buster. I’m amazed how God works through the indiviudality of each person He created, to spread the message of his love. It’s beautiful really. Praying I can always be a cheerleader for my friends, especially when their gifts are causing the message of Jesus to be spread.
Hi Valerie— oh yes, comparison truly is a confidence buster! Embracing our God-given uniqueness seems like such a no-brainer, and yet we really do struggle! Cheering alongside you, especially for our sisters spreading the good news in their own beautifully unique ways! Blessings! 🙂
Cheering each other on is much better than being jealous of each other. Thanks for encouraging us, Laura! Comparison is a thief that robs everyone.
Thanks so much, Lisa! Isn’t that the truth though? Nobody likes being around a party-pooper. Rejoicing in the successes of others lifts our own hearts…and encourages those around us 🙂 Blessings to you!