Every October I remember Nanny, my maternal grandma. Partly because October was her birthday month and partly because it’s when we celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving—and I tend to get a tad mushy and nostalgic. It makes me wish I could have just one more cup of tea with Nanny in a floral bone china teacup. And ask how her generation did hospitality so effortlessly and so well…
To be honest, I would ask her about everything: the war, about her early life in London, England, about apple pies and ballroom dancing and Grandad. My author self longs to write a book all about her. She was fascinating in her own quiet way. You see, my sweet Nanny suffered from agoraphobia and never ventured outside her house alone… yet my fondest memories are of INSIDE her home.
It wasn’t fancy, it was cozy. Always warm in atmosphere and temperature. Cluttered with a myriad of tangible memories but always room to sit on the floral sofa. The kettle seemed to be permanently on and there were always snacks on hand. Homey. Comfortable. Safe.
“I want to have a simple table spread with abundant love. To offer an atmosphere of joy and peace.” Kristin Schell
How did she do that? How did all our grandmas and great-grandmas manage to pull off hospitality with such apparent ease and minimal worry? And when did we turn it all on its head and overcomplicate the joy of hospitality from simple to stressful and natural to nightmarish? I have a few ideas (and I’m SO preaching to myself here):
- They didn’t stand on ceremony.
I can’t imagine neighbors simply popping in to borrow a cup of sugar or stopping by to share a pot of tea in the middle of the afternoon just for the fun of it. Today, we feel the need to text or email (heaven forbid we should actually talk on the phone) to sync calendars and schedule a meal with loved ones at our house. It’s formal. Starchy. And we kinda prefer doing coffee at a coffee shop to be on neutral ground…
- The door was open.
Always. Literally. Like wide open and never locked. The welcome was extended to anyone, anytime. Admittedly, we live in a very different day and age where we need to lock our doors, but be honest—does anyone else freeze when the doorbell chimes unexpectedly? Who on earth could that be? Someone just stopping by uninvited? And then we exhale—it’s just the Amazon delivery guy! Does our hospitality only apply within allocated, convenient hours?
- There was always tea and cake.
Or coffee and cookies. Or cheese and crackers with apple slices. Or plums from the tree in the backyard. I wonder if they were more resourceful with their experience of wartime rations. They didn’t need Google or Pinterest to make something delicious with 3 ingredients in their little fridge when they had tried-and-trusted tactile recipe books passed down through generations. Why do we make excuses to not have people over because we haven’t been to Costco or our espresso machine is on the fritz?
- They stopped and listened.
Undivided attention. They always wanted to know all the details. About everyone and everything. They called it “conversation”. This was way before social media—now we simply scroll to see how our people are doing. No, the grandmas made us feel like we were the most important person in the world. They offered a listening ear and gave advice freely. They cared and weren’t afraid to show it. They were our mentors. Who are we mentoring right now?
“So I give you a new command: Love each other deeply and fully. Remember the ways that I have loved you, and demonstrate your love for others in those same ways.” John 13:34
Love. At the end of the day, hospitality this week or a hundred years ago is all about abundant love.
Nanny always made me feel loved. Like the simple feast of cheese and crackers was especially for me. As she bustled about her tiny kitchen in her frilly apron with pockets, I was loved and safe and comfortable.
That’s my prayer today as I attempt to show hospitality in any way I can. That my guest, my friend, might feel loved and safe and comfortable.
I hope I have inherited even a smattering of the beautiful gift of hospitality passed on from Nanny…
Thankfully, it’s never too late for us to put it into practice. Friend, let’s be spontaneous, have an open heart along with our open door, put the kettle on, and be a listening ear.
Who comes to mind when you think of sweet hospitality memories? Let me know in the comments below and we ‘ll channel some simple hospitality truths learned from yesteryear…
P.S. If you’d like some goodies to share with guests, I send out a tried-and-trusted RECIPE every month in my newsletter, “Laura’s Letters”. You can sign up HERE! You’ll also get a free book review PDF “20 FICTION FAVORITES” and you’ll be entered into a monthly giveaway!
Linking up with some fabulous encouragers. Check them out:
“That’s my prayer today as I attempt to show hospitality in any way I can. That my guest, my friend, might feel loved and safe and comfortable.” Amen! It doesn’t matter if the house isn’t spotless or there is clutter or if the meal is simple. What matters is that we make people feel loved and comfortable. Blessings to you! I’m your neighbor at #TuneInThursday.
Thanks for stopping by, Gayl! Absolutely, when we make it about our guests rather than about us… that’s hospitality. 🤗Blessings to you!
I like hospitality that way, it was a lot less complicated, the way I try to do and can’t anymore.
Hi there Rebecca— it was certainly simpler back in the day, wasn’t it? Here’s to loving one another well in the best way we can right now… Blessings to you! 🤗
Yes! I wrote a tribute to my Memere a couple years back when she died at 100 – and this was such a mark from her life as well. Such appreciation for this generation that lived before us –
Written mostly for my family to remember and grieve together – but also a tribute to this generation – https://www.chroniclesofmomia.com/2017/07/a-tribute-to-my-memere/
Hi Katherine—thanks so much for sharing, I’m hopping over to read it now. 🤗 We are so blessed to have the humble trailblazers who have gone before us! Sweet memories… Blessings to you!
Listening is so key to hospitality! I think your grandma was really on to something 🙂
Hi Sarah— oh yes, she was a smart one! 😉 It always felt as if time slowed down when we stopped by to visit. And yes, listening and giving our undivided attention is so important. Blessings to you!
Hi Laura, This is such a beautiful post! Loved hearing about your sweet Nanny.
I was just saying the other day to my husband how I miss the days when you could just pop over to a neighbor’s house and hang out. Now, I don’t feel comfortable doing that. Like it seems presumptuous, but why on earth should it?? Because it shouldn’t, yet it does…
There is a comedian who touched on very similar points that you did about then and now in his act and although it was funny, it was stunningly accurate.
Thanks for sharing.
Welcome here, Karen! Thanks so much— it’s fun to reminisce on the good ol’ days and I really think we can learn from our grandmas’ generation. 😊 Many of us crave slow and simple and comfortable in the busyness of today… works in progress, right? Blessings to you!
Great memories of Nanny! Her roast beef dinner around that little table or a biscuit from her tin with a fizzy drink in those plastic cups!! Simple but precious!!! I like to keep it simple here with coffee and cake then I can focus on our guests!!
Hey sis— SO MANY MEMORIES OF NANNY! The Christmas parties with lucky dips and trifles and yes, her roast beef was the best! But she always rustled up something and it was special because it was from Nanny’s kitchen—even store-bought cookies. And you have become the quintessential hospitable vicar’s wife!! Yes to keeping it simple and stress-free so we can focus on our guests! Miss you! xxx
This resonates so much with me. I’m guilty of complicating my efforts to be hospitable to the point that it all becomes overwhelming. And all along I could have kept it simple and stress-free and, in the end, more frequent. Thanks for the reminder that love wins. Always.
Thanks so much for stopping by, Cindy! I think many, MANY of us fall into this category of overcomplicating and overwhelm. The good news: it’s not too late to simplify and serve with an open heart, whatever that looks like for us. Yes to less stress and more love! 🤗 Blessings to you!
You know I love this. Will share!
Aww thanks ever so much, Sue! 🤗 Really appreciate the share… blessings to you, friend!