I faced my giant today.
There were three of them actually, all armed with their weapons of choice and a determined fire in their eyes. They arrived on my doorstep and I had the courage to let them in.
The cleaning ladies.
Now before you roll your eyes and tell this particular princess to get some REAL giants, I’ll tell you why this has been such a nightmare for me. The way I look at it, you’re in one of two camps with this issue. Either the “I could never let another woman into my home and clean- it’s my responsibility and it’s just not right!” camp, or the “Heck, yes I have a cleaner- we’d all be knee deep in dust bunnies if I didn’t…. plus I’m providing employment to someone who needs it!” camp. I was in the former.
I’d like to say I bucked the idea of having a cleaner because I love to clean and feel closer to my family when I can wash their toilets and wipe the dried toothpaste from the edge of the sink. But truth be told- I have PRIDE issues! Wow, that’s a tough one to admit right there. I don’t enjoy cleaning- I enjoy a clean house.
But it’s MY house and MY family and MY job to keep the house in order. Plus, nobody else could do it quite like me, right? Maybe if I was out at work from 8am-6pm five days a week I could justify getting help, but as I’m working from home surely I can handle the cleaning myself? What kind of woman would I be if I couldn’t look after my own house? Think of the money I am saving my family by doing everything myself (hero complex right there!) Oh yes, this has been my ugly rant for several years now…
My patient, sweet husband has tried so hard to be diplomatic and encouraging in this area. I can’t tell you how many times he has suggested a cleaner, happy to pay for help, and I have balked in utter indignation at the mere suggestion. Is that Laura being a dutiful wife, or a proud fool? Hmm.
I’ve never been good at asking for help. I used to think it was because I didn’t want to bother anyone and cause extra fuss, but I see now that it was, in fact, my PRIDE! Darn it- I thought I was being considerate! In reality, I may have prevented someone from feeling useful and blessing me AND themselves in the process.
After being in cleaner-denial forever, the clincher has been the added work involved in promoting my book, and the addition of…. LILY. Yes the bulldog is super-cute and follows me around like a drooling shadow, but she also sheds like the dickens and is not good at saliva control.
So today was the first day of the rest of my life! After my initial intimidation of the gargantuan arsenal of cleaning products my lovely ladies sported, I locked myself away, let them have at it, and now I have a sparkly house and a happy family!
I’ll admit, they did a super job. I look forward to their bi-weekly visits and I’ll endeavor to use my saved time wisely. And I’ll even try to ask for help in other areas when required (no need to ignore my phone calls, friends, this is a long term goal!)
So this has been my long-winded way of saying- don’t be like me and mistake consideration of others for pride. It comes in all shapes and sizes and it’s really not pretty. Don’t be a hero- accept help in whatever form it is offered, and give some in return! I’ll leave you with some wise words of warning:
“First pride- then the crash- the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.” (Proverbs 16:18 The Message)
Laura I'm so with you there, and even with any kind of help. it has been a b ig step to realise that this is pure pride but the Lords has counselled me and I have to say He is so right!! He will provide and meet your needs but only you can accept the help gratiously. escuse my grammar etc yet another thing he has guided me through. How great is our God xxx
So lovely to hear from you Julie! You are absolutely right- accepting help GRACIOUSLY is the key! Hope you are doing well- keep us up to date on Facebook with your progress okay? Lots of love across the miles- and thanks for following xxx
Hi Laura,
Thanks so much for sharing about your struggles with this issue. I was really sick for a few years and just could not keep up with the cleaning. We got a maid and it helped so much! But when my friends would find out they would make jokes like we were all high and mighty. It really is frowned upon or something if someone hires help. But if women need to do this, I really think they should. You make such great points. Not every woman can do everything and we shouldn't wear ourselves so thin that we can't focus on the things that matter most. Anyway, thanks so much for sharing! Blessings, Megan S.
Thanks Megan. I appreciate your thoughts. And I am truly thankful for the people who make our lives more manageable! As tempting as it is to try to be Superwoman, I need to learn that I am oh so VERY VERY far from it 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
Oh, I loved my cleaning lady when she used to come. I understand what you're saying about feeling a bit guilty at first, but if you can squeeze it financially, then there is nothing wrong with it. I did have to stop when my husband lost his job. He has since started his own business, which is slow going and not at the same income as before, so I have not asked to restart the cleaning lady again. Maybe I'll sell lots of books some day and be able to call her up again. Now there's an incentive!
Oh Katy- I do hope you sell many, many books and get to enjoy your cleaning lady again! I can't wait to start reading REAL VIRTUE next week. Let's pray for your best sellers and for your hubby's business to boom. Thanks so much for visiting my blog 🙂
Hmmmm it all sounds rather close to home!!!(apart from the lack of doggy drool!) Its so true when you really analyse why we dont ask for help, especially when you think about the 'buzz' you get when we help others, so just reverse it!!!!!And put your feet up!!!!! xx
You have been my inspiration in this Heid- I know it must have been a struggle, but especially when you HAD to let others step in, you did it with grace and a smile. (Even when you might not have been smiling on the inside!) Seeing it up close last year was a huge lesson for me, so thanks! xxx
Wow I didn’t realise that I was an inspiration!!!now moving house is aREAL test in letting things go!!!!I’m head supervisor and chief tea maker !!!
Well you most certainly ARE my inspiration! 🙂 Thinking of you as you supervise the house move- wish I could come and be the muscle with the van! I could always Skype and help you supervise? That would be fun… xx